If all you can do on Halloween is whine and carp about other people’s costumes, Bill Maher has a “new rule” for you — stay home.
There may, admittedly, have been a few more words to that.
In a nine-minute rant on his Friday show, the “Real Time with Bill Maher” host leveled the “emotional hemophiliacs on social media telling us what we can’t do on Halloween.”
Maher referenced a BuzzFeed — or rather, “BuzzKill” — article titled “Please, I Am Literally On My Knees Begging You — Do Not Wear Any Of These Halloween Costumes This Year.”
“Halloween is a fun time to dress up as whoever and whatever you want! Within reason, that is,” BuzzFeed staffer Hannah Marder wrote.
Not within the bounds of “reason,” according to Marder’s listicle: “the dead Queen of England,” “Putin,” “anything related to monkeypox,” and 20 other costume ideas.
Commence the rolling of eyes.
“If Halloween is too much for your fragile sensibilities and you’re worried about seeing someone wearing something that’s on the forbidden costume list … just stay the f*** home,” Maher said. [start of video]
Instead of canceling Halloween “lest a night of irreverent dress-up spiral into something that resembles fun,” Maher said he’d rather do away with “All Scolds’ Day” on Nov. 1, “when the good people announce which costumes the bad people wore.” [1:15]
One of the canceled costumes this year is Jeffrey Dahmer, a costume that’s been made popular by the Netflix series “Monster,” based on the serial killer. (Oddly, the Dahmer costume didn’t make the BuzzFeed list.)
As Maher noted, “eBay has already banned selling [the Dahmer costume] because otherwise it would be impossible to find a blond wig and aviator glasses.” [1:45]
Next is Queen Elizabeth “because it’s ‘too soon.’ Yes, 96, practically an ingenue,” Maher said. [2:40]
And then there are those who don’t want “zombie versions of deceased celebrities. Well, there goes my zombie Angela Lansbury idea,” Maher quipped.
“No one with an eating disorder, so goodbye skeletons, and no transphobic costumes. Because if kids want to see drag queens, they can go to story hour.”
WARNING: The following video contains graphic language that some viewers will find offensive.
I’m so tired of a handful of emotional hemophiliacs on social media telling us what we can’t do on Halloween. And by the way, please put drugs in my candy. #AllScoldsDay? pic.twitter.com/if9O8HQZTU
— Bill Maher (@billmaher) October 29, 2022
“Have fun, kids, and let your imaginations soar,” Maher said, mockingly, “Can I tell you something, kids? These are all great costumes. Listen to me, I’m your last connection to fun.” [4:30]
“For f***’s sake, it’s Halloween — which is not just a fun holiday, it’s a necessary psychic release.”
Well, Maher had his own costume, which summed up the BuzzFeed-style worldview perfectly.
Maher’s costume? A costume-scold — complete with triple face-masks and a shield, a shirt that read “F*** the Patriarchy,” a leash for his emotional support animal and a stick, which is meant to “go up my a**.”
“And just in case anyone still doesn’t get what I’m all about, I have a wet blanket,” Maher said, lifting up some sopping-wet bed-linens.
When even Bill Maher can’t stand the scolds of the left, you know they’ve gotten out of hand. Before we’re all dressing like costume scolds, then, it may be wise to listen to the HBO host, lest we all become “BuzzKills.”
This article appeared originally on The Western Journal.